We Get There
by KeepCalmAndSlashOn
Summary: Neal feels that Peter is not himself, when he finds out why he pushes Peter away & sends him on a self destruction journey but they will find each other  again SLASH.  l suck at summery  plz plz review ;
1. Chapter 1

**Title:We Get There**  
**Characters/pairings****:** Neal/Peter  
**Rating:** M [ for later chapters]  
**Summary:**Neal feels that Peter is not himself, when he finds out why he pushes Peter away & sends him on a self destruction journey but they will find each other again. (l suck at summery) plz R&R !  
**Disclaimer:** White Collar is not mine if it as, it would be slash heaven!  
**A/N:** This is my first attempt at Neal/Peter fic so l'm sorry if they seem a bit out of character .  
this is SLASH so if slash is not your thing 1. you're crazy 2. really crazy 3. not good crazy, but just crazy

**Beta:** By the amazing **cedricsowner** I want to thank her so much for loving and editing my story, you make all my mistakes go away ;)

This story is written for my lovely Maryam who is my soul mate & this story was written as a motivation for her to study !

* * *

Chapter 1:

Neal couldn't but notice that Peter had started to behave weird in the past few weeks, he stayed longer than usual in the office , which he barely left, Neal suspected that sometimes he even sleeps there.  
Neal sat across from Peter who looked really tired, black circles under his eyes; that just looked dead. The usual sparkle that Neal had learned to love was gone, it looked like someone had turned off the lights in Peter's eyes.  
He couldn't but feel that Peter has been avoiding him in the last few weeks. Their normal flirting was gone - he didn't invite him to lunch anymore, as if he was tired of his company. This made Neal try even harder, but it only seemed to push Peter even further away.  
Peter closed the meeting and just collapsed into his chair, closing his eyes and not moving. Neal waited until everyone had left the room, then he moved to the chair next to Peter and placed his hand on Peter's thigh. Peter's eyes flew open and he stared at Neal.

"Neal, what are you doing?"

"l could ask you the same thing."

Peter arched his eyebrow "Excuse me?"

Neal turned to Peter in his chair so he could face him. "You're not being yourself, you never leave the office, you're grumpy, you look like you haven't slept for days."

Peter turned away from Neal. He just looked at his hands but he didn't say a word in return.

"Peter, please talk to me", Neal begged, trying to catch Peters eyes. "Just tell me what's wrong."

Peter stood up without even making eye contact with Neal. He made his way to the door, but Neal was faster and blocked the door so Peter had no choice but to face Neal.  
Neal expected some reaction from Peter, to throw him out of the way, yell at him or make some cynical remark, but Peter just stood there, with this dead look in his eyes.  
Neal wanted to shake him until he got some sort of reaction from this 'Peter shell' that was standing in front of him. He placed his hands on Peter's shoulders and gave him his best smile, but Peter's gaze was still blank as before.

"Peter if you don't tell me I'll have no choice but to tell Elizabeth!", Neal tried to joke; maybe this would lighten his mood a bit.

Peter's eyes finally found Neal's and Neal was shocked to see the misty eyes looking back at him.

"Well and maybe on this occasion you could ask her why she left …"

He shook Neal's hands off and moved him out of his way. Neal was too shocked to protest. He just watched Peter leave, and even his back looked defeated.

0o0o0o0o

Neal couldn't understand. How could he have missed such an important piece of information about his partner? His friend?  
He trusted Peter more than anyone in his life, more than he had ever trusted Kate or even Mozzie, he had barred his soul more than once to Peter and he couldn't but feel deceived.

Neal had never been the guy to gossip around the office, but the FBI was just like a gossip hive so it didn't take too long to find the information Peter wouldn't share with him.

Elizabeth had got a job offer in Washington, she had felt it was a once in a life time opportunity, and she had taken the offer.  
She had expected Peter to come with her but Peter hadn't. So a few weeks ago she moved out, took Satchmo with her and left Peter with divorce papers.

Neal looked for Peter for the rest of the day but he was nowhere to be found, he didn't have anything to do at the office so Diana just sent him home.  
As soon as he got home, he tried Peter's cell and home number, but no luck.

A knock on the door woke him up, he looked at the clock and it was 2:07 am; he didn't bother to dress and just opened the door in his sweatpants.

It was Peter or someone resembling him, his hair was wild, he was wearing his tie around the head and his eyes were glancing with drunkenness.

"l signed them" he mumbled. He couldn't stand anymore, he lost his balance and stumbled towards Neal who managed in the last second to catch him. He dragged Peter to the couch.

"Coffee. We need coffee", Neal stated, making his way to the kitchen

"Don't leave me, Neal, please don't leave me!" Peter cried. Neal's heart skipped a beat at this plea. Peter had always been the strong one. Seeing him like this was breaking Neal's heart.  
He lowered himself next to Peter on the sofa. Peter leaned against him and Neal stroked his hair. They stayed like this for a while.

"You probably know everything by now don't' you?" He looked at Neal who in return nodded in agreement.

"Why didn't you tell me about Elizabeth?" Neal broke the silence again.

"Would that make any difference?" Peter moved away from Neal.

"YES, you're my friend, Peter, or so l like to believe." Peter's hair covered his eyes and Neal couldn't (or didn't want to) stop himself from reaching out and brushing the hair away. Peter looked right into his eyes. His heart was racing so fast from the look he gave him he had to break the connection before he did things he would regret forever.

"We aren't friends, Neal, you're a con man and I'm just your babysitter and when your 4 years are over, you'll leave me just like Elizabeth did, you'll go on adventures and forget all about me until l probably arrest you again … once a thief always a thief."

Neal tried to pretend the words Peter said didn't hurt him or had any other impact on him, but the words stung no matter if they were coming from a drunk man. "You know l wouldn't do that! l know you're hurting, but what happened with Elizabeth isn't my fault"

"Ahhh, but you see, it is."

"What?" Neal swallowed hard, looking shocked at Peter

"It's kinda obvious, don't you think? There's no White Collar unit in DC so there's nothing for you there."

Something in Neal's mind clicked and he moved himself farther away from Peter, who wore the saddest smile he had ever seen.

"And if l left you here it would be a one way ticket back to jail"

"Peter …"

"Yeah, so l had to choose between sending you back to jail or save my marriage."

"Peter, you didn't …"

"Ohhh, Neal, but l did, sad, isn't it ? That l preferred a thief, a liar, a con man over my wife…"

Neal embraced Peter. He wanted him to know that he would never hurt him, never let him down, never let him regret the decision he made, that he would make it worth every single second of his life.

Peter snuggled his head in the crook of Neal's neck. He hadn't felt the warmth of another human being since Elizabeth had left. Neal felt Peters lips on his neck. His heart stopped, he forgot how to breathe and tried to move away from Peter, but his grip was too tight. His hand stroked his bare back, he pushed Neal down and placed himself on top of him.

"Peter, please", Neal begged.

But Peter ignored the plea. His lips climbed up Neal's neck and explored his jaw line. He moved his hand away from underneath Neal and was gently going up his stomach. When his hand reached Neal's neck, Peter finally stopped.  
Neal gasped for air. He realized he had been holding his breath the whole time. Peter's eyes looked straight at him, but he didn't see any lust there or desire, all he saw there was pain, drunk pain. He opened his mouth to tell Peter that they couldn't, that his heart was broken, that he didn't want to take advantage of him, but Peter misread Neal's intention and pressed his lips to Neal's. Peter tasted like heaven, better than Neal had ever imagined, his lips were so much tender and softer, he tasted like cheap beer and desperation. He couldn't lie to himself that he hadn't wanted this from him; well, he didn't even remember since when, it seemed he had wanted Peter since forever.  
Peter's tongue claimed Neal's mouth, every last of Neal's defenses was about to crumble, but he held to the last shred of it and pushed Peter away.

"Peter, stop! Not like this!"

Peter looked hurt, as if he had just got slapped. He tried to move towards Neal to kiss him again, but Neal pushed him away and stood up, moving far away from the sofa. He didn't trust himself if Peter tried to kiss him again.

"I left my wife for you!"

"Peter, don't …" Neal turned away from Peter, not able to stand the look he was giving him.

"I thought that this is what you always wanted? To have me all to yourself? I got rid of my wife for you!"

"No, you didn't, she left you and I …" Neal hesitated "I … love you and I don't want to be your rebound, I deserve more than to be your 'l just want to forget my wife fuck' and then watch you go and be happy with someone else."

Peter stood up and made his way to Neal. As he stroked his face gently, Neal covered Peter's hand with his and planted a little kiss on it, then moved it away from his face.  
Peter looked hurt but Neal kept convincing himself that he was doing it for him, to protect him.

"So it's like this"

"Peter don't make me the bad guy! You're drunk, you're hurt, you don't think straight, you don't know what you want."

"I want you."

"Peter…"

"I do … I always did"

"Peter, please, stop"

"Tell me that you don't want me and I'll go."

"I don't …." He couldn't finish the sentence because Peter's lips were on his again, his hand was on his waist, puling him so close that Neal could feel how hard Peter was. Peter broke the kiss and looked into Neal's blue eyes, but just as before all that Neal could see in them was pain. Peter was leaning for another kiss, but this time Neal was faster.

"I don't want you Peter"

Peter stopped in midair, studying Neal's face, searching for a sign that this was just a lie, another con, that he just wanted him to try harder, but there was no sign of lying in Neal's face.

Peter let go of Neal and walked out of the door. Without looking back he slammed the door behind him. Neal jumped from the sound and as hard as he tried, he couldn't stop the tears from running down his face.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:We Get There**  
**Characters/pairings:** Neal/Peter  
**Rating:** M [ for later chapters]  
**Summary:**Neal feels that Peter is not himself, when he finds out why he pushes Peter away & sends him on a self destruction journey but they will find each other again. (l suck at summery) plz review !  
**Disclaimer:** White Collar is not mine if it was, it would be slash heaven!  
**A/N:** l feel like the story is taking it's own life. it was supposed to be a 3 chapters, but now I feel its going to be longer.  
It's a little dark, but l think all great love stories are.

**Beta:** By the amazing **cedricsowner** I want to thank her so much for loving and editing my story, you make all my mistakes go away ;)

This story is for my own personal muse Maryam.

* * *

Chapter 2:

Peter woke up on the floor of his living room and his head was pounding. He felt he was about to throw up, so he ran as fast as he could upstairs and hunched over the toilet.  
When there was nothing more to get out and he allowed himself to slowly slid to the floor. He didn't know how long he lay there. On the one hand it felt like forever, but on the other hand everything seemed like forever these days. He felt like he had been stuck in a black hole for the past four weeks and time had been sucked out of his life, alongside with everything he had ever loved and built for himself.

When he finally got up and glanced at the mirror he had a hard time recognizing himself, it was like a corpse was staring back at him, a stranger he had never met before.  
His eyes wandered around. The effects of that damn black hole were everywhere around him, all her things were gone, everything , like someone had gone through his life with an eraser and made everything 'Elizabeth' disappear.  
He couldn't sleep in their room because although her stuff was gone, her smell was everywhere like a ghost, reminding him of better times. Every noise made him jump around, waiting to see her but it never was her, just a wisp of wind, a memory.

She didn't answer his calls. Since she had left all the communication was through their lawyers, maybe it was for the best.

He went back downstairs to find his cell phone, it was Sunday so he wasn't expected at work, 10 missed calls, most of them were from Neal.  
Neal. No. He didn't even want to think about last night, how pathetic he had been, to throw himself at him like he had done…He closed his eyes trying to make all the memories from last night disappear.

He went to the kitchen. Maybe some coffee would clear his head. He put the water on the stove to boil and remembered how in the mornings Liz had always welcomed him with a hot cup of coffee.

"Morning, hun", she used to say with a bright smile.

He would kiss her on the cheek and take the mug from her hand.

"Right back, catch you hun."

They would jokingly fight over the morning paper, he would leave for work, and there it was Neal who welcomed him with a cup a coffee and a smile that made his knees week and his heart skip a beat.

Everyone in the office joked that Peter had two wives, a home wife and a work wife, as much as Peter laughed at that statement he couldn't but feel that they were right.

He was an honest man, he always tried to choose the right way, love over money, good over evil, rightness over power, and Neal over his wife; he couldn't but feel that he had missed the right path on that last one.

Neal had always been his weak spot, ever since the first time they had met. He remembered Neal coming to him outside that bank, he had been such a rookie back then, so eager to please, he couldn't forget that handsome man with the bluest eyes he had ever seen and the widest smile.

"Excuse me, but l couldn't help but overhear… are you with the FBI?"

"Special agent Peter Burke"

He had mumbled something about some bonds, but for all that Peter cared he could've talked about cows because his words barely registered in Peter's consciousness, he felt he was drowning in the guy's eyes which kept giving him that inviting feeling.

"Well, thanks again for all the hard work, Agent Burke… That's for you." And he offered him a green lollypop.  
As soon as the lolly was in his hand the man disappeared as suddenly as he had appeared. Peter looked at the green sucker in his hand and couldn't but ask himself - did this guy just hit on him? Was this sucker some kind of a subtle hint? "_You're a married man_", he reminded himself before his mind wandered into forbidden territories.

After finding that the man with the green sucker was none but 'James Bonds' himself aka Neal Caffrey he just held to that sucker.  
Elizabeth asked him many times why he kept it and he always told her it was because Neal was an unfinished business, and he hated unfinished businesses, so he was going to hold on to that lollypop until Mr Caffrey was behind bars, but in his heart Peter knew better: He was holding on to that memory. Before he knew it had been Neal, it had been just a sweet memory of a beautiful man that looked at him like he was going to take him right there on the street, the men with the most beautiful eyes and a perfect smile and no matter how perfect his life seemed he wasn't ready to let that memory go.

The chase is always the most exciting part, just ask any law enforcement officer. It was almost a shame to put Neal behind bars, but he was a man who always chose what's right so he caught him, although not in the way he wanted.  
Those eyes hunted him day and night. He was almost happy when Diana told him that Neal had escaped because he got to chase him again.  
So this is how Neal became his work wife. It was Neal's nature to flirt with everyone around, but Peter couldn't feel that it was different around him or he just wanted to believe it was so.

"I think Neal likes you", Elizabeth told him over dinner.

"Excuse me?"

"I don't know; the way he looks at you, he's just like a cat around cream when he is with you."

Peter wanted to disagree, but he couldn't stop the grin from spreading all over his face.

"Ohhh", Elizabeth stated and returned to her dinner. and the subject was never brought up again.

Peter tried, he really did, but the effect Neal had on him was stronger than any he had ever felt before; it was stronger than he had ever felt with Elizabeth, it was primal, he stopped counting all the times he barely stopped himself from pinning Neal to a wall, how many times he wanted to kiss him, feel his skin under his hands, just for a second forget about everything and just taste him.

But Elizabeth was always there and he loved her and he couldn't betray her, because as we know Peter was the man who always chose the right way.

until one day ...

"I got a work offer in Washington" she suddenly said over dinner. Even Satchmo raised his ears.

"DC?", he couldn't stop himself from asking.

"No, Peter, the other one."

"What kind of job offer?" Peter overlooked the cynical remark.

" 'A Touch of Elegance' they're almost exclusive when it comes to all the White House's events !" The excitement was so obvious in her voice. "Can you imagine me planning an event for the president? It was my dream ever since I was a little girl."

Peter smiled at her. He loved when she smiled "And you can run the business from here?" As the last word left his lips, he saw Elizabeth's smile fade away.

"You didn't listen to a word I said, did you ?"

"Of course I did, White House parties for the president, childhood dream…"

"You forgot the part that the job is in DC."

Peter looked puzzled "So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that this is the offer of my lifetime, and that I sacrificed enough for your career and now it's my turn." She stood up and took their plates to the kitchen, not speaking another word with him that night.

He tried, he really did, because he's the man that always chooses the right path. The next morning he went straight to Reese to ask about the transfer. The answer he got was simple: He could easily find a position for him over there, but if he went his 'pet con man' would go as well, back to jail, that was.

Peter couldn't sleep that night. He had known that the day he would have to choose between Elizabeth and Neal would come, but what scared him was that he knew right away who he would choose and how easily he would do so.

Neal. It was always Neal, ever since that damn green sucker.

He didn't need to tell her his answer. She knew it right away in the kitchen when she welcomed him with their regular cup of coffee, as soon as she saw his face she poured the coffee in the sink and stormed out.

For the next few weeks they barely exchanged words, only a few formal things; the mortgage, Satchmo, their bank accounts.  
Peter felt like a stranger in his own house. He kept it a secret at work, he didn't want Neal to find out, he was scared that if he found out, he would do something ridiculously stupid, a heroic sacrifice in order to save him and Elizabeth.  
He felt horrible for lying to Neal and he started to avoid him at work, screening his calls.

One day he came home and the boxes that had gathered there for weeks were gone. He felt the emptiness, he saw Elizabeth sitting on the couch, Satchmo lying next to her, and he couldn't but notice the brown manila in her hand.  
When she saw him she stood up with a sad smile, pulling Satchmo after her. She stopped right in front of him handing him the manila, she kissed him on the cheek and whispered: "He would never love you, he's not capable to love." Her breath brushed over his ear. "I hope for your sake, it was worth loosing me." And with these words she was gone.

Peter heard these last words everywhere he went "_He would never love you"._ The radio in his car screamed at him _"He would never love you, he's not capable to love "_.  
Peter knew the words were meant to hurt, but knowing it didn't help from the words to penetrate every fiber of his body.

Neal being Neal didn't make it easier. Peter was angry that he had let "Well and maybe on this occasion you could ask her why she left …" slip his lips. He knew Neal would never let it go, he knew that he needed to talk to him, but he was scared because of these damn words, they were hunting him.

_"He would never love you, he's not capable to love "._

He went drinking that night and somewhere around his seventh drink he found himself in front of Neal's door.

That didn't went well he thought,

_"He would never love you, he's not capable to love"_

crept back to his mind. Peter looked around the kitchen. It was even emptier than the bathroom.

He hated Neal! He had given up the most valuable thing he had for him, and he had just thrown it away, like yesterday's garbage. Peter had never felt so rejected in his life.

"I gave up **everything **for you!", Peter screamed, smashing his mug into the wall. "Everything", he said quieter. He looked around himself. He couldn't bear to stand another moment inside this house, the walls were closing in on him. Peter took his keys and fled outside.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:We Get There**  
**Characters/pairings:** Neal/Peter  
**Rating:** M [ for later chapters]  
**Summary:**Neal feels that Peter is not himself, when he finds out why he pushes Peter away & sends him on a self destruction journey but they will find each other again. (l suck at summery) plz review !  
**Disclaimer:** White Collar is not mine if it was, it would be slash heaven!  
**A/N:** l feel like the story is taking it's own life. it was supposed to be a 3 chapters, but now I feel its going to be longer.  
It's a little dark, but l think all great love stories are.I don't want to beg but I would love some review just so I know if you even like it.  
****

******Beta:** By the amazing**cedricsowner** I want to thank her so much for loving and editing my story, you make all my mistakes go away ;)**  
**

This story is for Maryam.

* * *

Chapter 3:

The second Peter slammed the door behind him, Neal knew he had been wrong. He could try and lie to himself until the end of days; he hadn't been protecting Peter with his refusal, he had been protecting himself.  
He wiped away the tears; he didn't even realize he was crying, and ran downstairs, storming outside, only to see Peter disappear into a cab.  
Neal was lost. He was standing shirtless in the middle of Manhattan. He kept turning around in circles, trying to figure out what to do next. The streets were empty and he didn't see another cab anywhere.  
Peter was living outside his 2 mile radius; going there would activate the alarm and the last thing Peter needed right now was explaining why Neal was at his house at 3:00 am on a Saturday night.  
Neal went back to his apartment but he couldn't sleep. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Peter's face in front of his. _"Tell me that you don't want me, and I'll go"_ Peter challenged him, Neal hated himself for saying what he had, he knew that he had hurt Peter.  
He couldn't but feel hypocritical. He remembered promising himself just minutes before turning him away that he would never hurt him, that he would make his decision to stay with him worth in every way possible.  
He couldn't stay in bed, every cell in his body was screaming from regret and guilt. Guilt was a feeling Neal wasn't used to feeling, as a con man he couldn't afford to feel guilt, he would never get any work done. The first time he let himself feel guilt and regret was the time he got caught.

Neat watched the sunrise from his balcony, the sun colored every building with a shade of red , a color that he could never find in any color pallet, it was as if the whole world was on fire, waking up to life, but this time the beauty of the sun rising escaped Neal's eyes, the only thought he had on his mind was Peter.  
He tried Peter's cell for what seemed like a hundred times, he tried his home number but with the same result. He was starting to feel desperate, he called Diana, thinking what lame excuse he could come up with, but she didn't even ask why he needed to visit Peter, it was enough for her just that Neal asked.

Neal had broken into Peter's house many times before, so this time wasn't any different. He picked the lock faster than he could count to ten, and entered.  
The house was quiet, he couldn't but notice how empty the house was, all the art, all the little things Elizabeth had collected over the years were gone, Satchmo didn't welcome him, it was like a ghost house.  
Peter wasn't to be found anywhere. The only thing that Neal found was a smashed mug in the kitchen and sighed divorce papers in living room.

0o0o0o

As soon as he was back in his loft, he started pacing like a captured animal, suddenly he broke the circle and reached for his phone.

"_I need your help. my place in 20", _he texted.

And soon enough, in less than 8 minutes since he had hit the 'send' button, Neal heard someone picking his lock.

"Mozz, you can ring like a normal human being!". he yelled at the door.

"And what would be the fun in that?" Mozzie entered "You sounded urgent, l didn't want to waste any time on door bells."

Neal sighed but a smile hovered over his face.

"Wine", Mozzie stated and pulled what looked like a very expensive bottle from his bag "Glasses ?"

Neal brought the glasses and a bottle opener, he sat at the table watching Mozzie taking care of the bottle. When the bottle was open and each of them had a glass in his hand, Mozzie looked at Neal.

"I need your help."

"Well, that I got, but until the CIA releases the mind reading machine to the public, I can't guess what you're thinking."

"l need you to watch over Peter."

"The Suit ?" Mozzie looked shocked at Neal.

"Yes."

"You want me to tail the Suit?"

"Not tail, just watch over him."

"He would kill me if he caught me." Mozzie looked in disbelieve at Neal.

"It's Peter, Mozz, he wouldn't hurt anyone."

"Yeah tell that to Adler. Why the sudden interest in the Suit?"

"Elizabeth left him."

Mozzie looked shocked at Neal a few seconds before he could say another word.

"Fine, I'll tail the Suit."

"Watch over", Neal corrected him.

"Yeah, call it whatever makes you sleep at night."

"That's the problem, Moz, nothing does."

0o0o0o0o

The next day Peter felt like someone was shadowing him, everywhere he was he felt eyes on his back.

At work Neal met him with his best smile, but that just made Peter's stomach turn upside down, he couldn't face him.  
The entire day he and Neal were dancing around each other, Neal was always trying to get closer to him and Peter always distanced himself as much from him as possible.  
He had made it clear that day that he didn't want anything to do with him, so this sudden attention at work confused Peter and he didn't like to be confused.

The day was over, everyone was leaving, the thought of going back to the empty house made Peter shiver, but staying at the office wasn't an option. He saw Neal by the lift and decided to take the stairs.

"Peter", he heard Neal's voice call after him.

He pretended not to hear it and just kept going downstairs.

"Peter, you will have to talk to me eventually."

Peter stopped and turned to Neal's direction. "I think you made yourself clear last night, Neal, I'm a big boy, I don't need to hear what you have to say."

"Peter, last night doesn't mean I don't want to be your friend, that I don't want to help you! "

"Friend?", Peter laughed. "Thank you, Neal, for the sacrifice." And he turned away from him.

"Peter!" But this time he didn't even bother to turn around.

As soon as he was out in the cold air he knew where he was heading.

_I need a drink… or six ..._

Peter walked down the street until he found a pub that looked dark and welcoming enough.

The bar was full so he sat in the farthest booth he could find.

"What can I get you?"

"Scotch, neat and just keep them coming"

It didn't help because even after the fifth drink he could still hear Neal's voice inside his head.

_"I don't want you Peter"_

He closed his eyes and reached for the fresh drink the waitress had put in front of him. _"Is it number eight?", _he asked himself, but it didn't matter.

"I can assure you, Sir, that this is the best wine we have!", he overheard the conversation in the nearest booth next to his.

"How can I be sure? The Bottle is open! You could've filled it with everything! I demand a new bottle!"

There was no place for mistakes: _Mozzie_. Peter finished his drink with one sip and stood up. Standing up was harder than he excepted: He barely made it to the next booth and crushed next to the surprised Mozzie.

"I seriously can't understand, how the both of you stayed out of jail for so long, you're horrible at blending in", Peter laughed. "Neal is... well he is too hot, and you're just too weird."

"Wow I wouldn't know what to do with so much flattery, Peter." He stared at Peter."Was it the wine thing?" Mozzie asked.

"Yep, the wine thing." Peter signaled the waitress to come back, and asked her for another refill.

"Don't you think you've had enough?" Mozzie asked Peter with a concerned voice. Peter moved so close that Mozzie could smell the Scotch in Peter's breath, he tried to back up, but Peter just laughed.

"Tell me Mozzie what are you doing here ?"

"Enjoying a glass of wine."

"The truth, Mozz!" Peter demanded.

"A friend asked me."

"Asked you what?"

"To watch over you and make sure you're ok and not doing anything stupid."

"Ha!" Peter released something resembling a laugh.

"He's worried about you", Mozzie defended Neal.

"Tell me something, Moz". He was in Mozzie's face again.

"What?" Mozzie hesitated.

"Does it ever stop hurting?"

"What?"

"To love him, to want him."

Mozzie swallowed hard as he tried to move away from Peter, but he held him tight at the front of his shirt.

"Does it ever stop hurting, when he looks through you like air?" Peter lowered his voice.

"When you're ready to do anything for him… Does it ever stop hurting ?"

"No." Mozzie was surprised to hear himself answer Peter.

Peter smiled at him, it was a sad smile. "I refuse to be like you, Mozz." He pressed his lips hard to Mozzie's cheek and headed out.

Mozzie looked at Peter's unfinished drink. fixed his glasses and drank it with one sip.

Across the pub in the shadows, Neal was putting his hat back on.


End file.
